I wanted to write a little note to update everyone on our appointment yesterday. We went to the genetics counselor, and it turned out to be kind of a let down. They were not able to test us for anything because they couldn't find anything in Eli to test us for. All they have is a list of things it was not. The good news is that the geneticist feels like it is not a chromosomal abnormality. If it were that there could be a 25% chance it could happen in a future child. At this point it boils down to they don't know much from him than they did before. He said it should be pretty reassuring that it is not anything he has seen before because he has seen every genetic disorder known. He thinks that it's really just one of those freak things that can happen and that we have no more chance of it happening again than anyone else who gets pregnant. They named off a lot of possibilities of things it could have been (I will save you the medical jargon) but it all comes down to there are no real answers yet. There are a lot of things he thinks it isn't. He suggested that we talk to one of the neonatalogists at Kosair and a pediatric GI Dr. about some things he think could have had a hand it.
So we are left still wondering. Wondering what happened to our precious baby boy. Wondering if we should try to have another baby. Wondering if we could live with ourselves if this happened to us again. For now, we are left with few answers. I hope we know more after we meet with the pediatrician on the 14th to go over the full autopsy. However I am left wondering how long the searching will go on? How much time and money will we spend for no one to give us answers? I have to think, isn't it all in God's hands anyway? For now, our future is uncertain; but I hope that ultimately we decide to trust God enough to put our future in His hands.
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